A thing called love.

".. I'm a nobody until I was talked about; You know you love me .." - Gossip Girl

xoxo, Sery Danceholic

Monday, November 16, 2009 @ 12:49 PM

*// Shaken feeling.

Dear diary,

As I encountered a near-accident tragic early this morning, my brain cells died on me. The only thing I remember was the picture of my Mom who is still sick at the back of my blank mind. I managed to chant silent prayers under my gasping breathe to keep me strong as I need to be there for her. It was a tragic morning and I was meaning to tell you about it, Heartshape when I made an oversea call just to reach you. But, words just can't come out right and that I instantly felt soothe upon hearing your voice. Alhamdulilah, I am still here and appreciate the value of life even more beneath all odds.

On a happier note, a very close kin got hitched. We grew up together and I owe my life to this family for being my caretaker ever since I stepped to this world. I was born in an imperfect picture to begin with but, they were one of the many that painted colors to my black and white life back then. I never missed this for the world but, the only thing I wasn't anticipating was the similar questions that were thrown at me countless times that day. I'm sure you'll get the drift especially when the 'makciks' gather and began chatterings. My biggest nightmare was when they began matchmaking session for me.

I am still learning to understand what so wrong of being 23 and not married? While they persisted for me to tie the knot or the least have that ring on my finger, I on the other hand treat marriage as a lifetime commitment that takes time and great pride in making it not the grandest affair but, the best of my liking being a princess for that day. I never believe in engagement nor splurging unnecessarily for my wedding. I'm a firm believer of what happen next after that and set off for a luxurious honeymoon to our desire.

We are in no hurry to catch a flight, aren't we? So relax lah makciks, kalau nak sponsor takpe jugak~

Kak Atik, you and your family has done so much for me which no words or actions can describe. At least I know if the worse have to happen, I still have you to catch me if I ever fall. I have seen you through your most horrorful nightmare of the first marriage and for everything that you have been through you deserve nothing less than a happiness neverending. I am elated beyond words to see you glowing with joy as he says his vow and your stunning outlook just compliments everything. May this be a lifelong marital bliss. Insyallah.

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Thursday, October 29, 2009 @ 10:23 PM

I wish...

I wish that we could give it a go, see if we could be something

I wish I was your favourite girl

I wish you thought I was the reason you are in the world

I wish my smile was your favourite kind of smile

I wish the way that I dressed was your favourite kind of style

I wish you couldn’t figure me out but, you always wanna know what I was about

I wish you’d hold my hand when I was upset

I wish you’d never forget the look on my face when we first met

I wish you had a favourite beauty spot that you loved secretly cause it was on a hidden bit that nobody else could see

I wish that you loved me

I wish that you needed me

I wish that you knew when I said two sugars actually I meant three

I wish that without me your heart would break

I wish that without me you’d be spending the rest of your nights awake

I wish that without me you couldn’t eat

I wish I was the last thing on your mind before you went to sleep

I wish... I wish... I wish...

Now, I don't have to wish cause my prayer was answered when you first held my hand and entangled your fingers to mine. But, I still wish that someday I meant so much more to you. So much more that your silence kills me and your absence makes this heart grow fonder. I didn't want to say cause I chose not to be fragile towards you but, I failed miserably. Come home already, I'm so lost without you especially at the worse time of the month.

Edited: One minute I was down and the next, he lift me off the ground; that's why I love you~

xoxo, Your girlfriend

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Sunday, October 18, 2009 @ 2:34 PM

City Square @ Singapore.

Being in my usual eccentric nature being cooped up in a nutshell, little did I know City Square does exist at the hearts of Singapore. Which is equally odd when its located near Mustafa Centre (our main destination, by the way) no where near the suburban area. Thanks to dearest Dee, I managed to explore that part of this island throughout that impromptu meetup. How 'jakun' can I be. Shopping was not in my itinery but, I ended up buying two pieces of Maxi Dress and she bought three cause the price was too hard to resist. We then continue shopping for her students' graduation after brunching at Burger King. We had a mini haul at Plaza Singapura as to get those Giokids tops. A splendid evening, indeed. Till our next date and next time, we shall wear the Liverpool jersey together~

P.S. Despite the after-work-look, kalau dah jambu tetap jambu no matter what hor! On an unrelated note, congrats on your engagement. *winks

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Friday, October 16, 2009 @ 9:12 PM

Without you, my life is incomplete.

To close the curtains of Syawal, it was a must-have finale cause Hari Raya celebration would never be complete without them. Though the numerous change of dates and not having a full clan especially the male counterparts, we still breeze through it with equal amount of fun and laughter. Our tonnes of 'burst shots' being the camera-wh*re that we are. First house was all the way at Bedok then down to the west and back in Serangoon area to call it a day. I never missed to put it an extra effort to cook for this beloved bunch on this occasion. And this year, I chose to go Italian; Beefball Linguine + Spicy Crispy Chicken. My room has always been a jamming venue for them despite being a complete mess. Gosh~

Though the short period, it shall succumbed as Adik managed to joined us for three houses and a dvd session at Jay's till past midnight. I could have sworn I nearly regurgitate out all the food due to overeating. Thank god, it spare me till I reached home. This year we are like a moving rainbow with a myriad of colors and next year, Tiffany Blue I heard? It's not even over but I've already planned what to tailor-made for next year. That's how much I'm anticipating it. This friendship has gone a long a way, we lose some and we gain some. What matters is to leave the past behind and look forward to strengthen our bond. I never regretted being 'kental' during those Anak Melayu days and crosspathed with you beautiful souls.

The glow on my face, feeling blessed. Hope your Syawal is too~

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Monday, October 12, 2009 @ 2:46 PM

The day I wore pink.

This year, Syawal brings a whole new meaning in my life. Losing a handful of family members gave more awareness to treasure the people that revolves around me. Life is too short to drown in hatred or pain but, to take it as a learning path everyone have to go through. What does hurts you, will only makes you stronger. I am just thankful to Allah I have a bundle of joy to call my own. Family plays a big role and friends like them makes this rocky road bearable. I had a number of agenda that I turned down in guilt. For that, deepest of apology my dearest ex-Coffee Club, the high schoolmates and a dear girlfriend who invited me to her open house.

On a happier note, we made another successful reunion despite not having the full squad. With them, it often spells fun and laughter. Though we do not meet as often like we do, it's a simple outing like this makes us reminisce those carefree days in ITE. I am just blessed to have crosspathed these wonderful individuals whom see through my ups and downs. We started off the day as early as 10am but, only be on the road at 12pm and get to the last house (which happened to be mine) past midnight. We chilled a far bit and got extremely bloated as every house have homecook food to savour. I'll let the tonnes of pictures walk the talk.

Picture of the day which unleash our inner zanyness:

And like any other year, this is something I look forward to see my BFFs donning in the traditional costume once or twice a year. Despite only have three house to visit, it was not about the quantity of time spent together but, quality of how much we sink in to each other companion. I can be myself when I'm with them even at my worse cause I know they will listen to my every whims and woes. Cry if we have to and always have each other back in times of need. No matter the distance, we are here to stay. There's nothing in this world that can overthrown me and my favorite girls. Snow White loves her Belle and Cinderella. Till we meet again for our usual dinner date~ *hugs and kisses

:.` It's not the quantity of friend you have but, the quality of each friendship `.:

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Friday, October 02, 2009 @ 11:24 PM

Of food, food, food and croaking.

This was taken a few days before Syawal as I had my second iftar with the Sengal Clan in conjunction to my favorite girl, Masila return to this tiny island. It was a cosy dinner in Pizza Hut @ Jurong Point. Despite my worn-out look as I came directly from work, nothing dampen my spirit. It was something I looked forward to the whole day that my heart was on a race. After which, we made a short trip to Geylang for a fair share of sweats and dendeng hitching a ride on Adam's car. Then Nuh had to bring us to a sleazy-looking karaoke place but nonetheless, funfilled. The companion was what matters.

We seldom get to have proper chats (beside those on Facebook/MSN) hence, something like this is means to catch up with each other life. I always believe when one's door closed, the other opens cause Allah always have it's blessing in disguise. I did told you, you make it through and nothing more I can do then to keep smiling in joy for you. May the new journey embarked brings a whole new meaning to the word; Love. A word that we often have the love-hate relationship with. Stay happy like this. Love you, darling~

:.` Every step I take, every breathe I make love makes the world revolves`.:

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Sunday, September 13, 2009 @ 2:05 AM

Short escapade.

It has been ages since I stepped out of my nutshell in Singapore so, I thought its only wise to take a breather of a different air (besides a visit to Johore). I did not hesitate to tagged along the sisters, Yaya and Kak Rini for a short trip to Batam. The main itinery was to collect their 'Hari Raya' clothings but for me, it was more on food indulgence. Sadly, there was too little time yet too many things to be done; the reason why I didn't manage to grab a bite at A&W or packed a box of J.Co donuts to bring home. But I did not regret a single second of it. *winks

We had those typical Indonesian-snack by the road side, tried out the KFC which unbelievably tasted better than what we have here and Es Teler. While they were busy doing some last minute trial and alteration, I walked around in search of a nice headscarfs for Momma and bought three pieces for her. As for me, the only thing I splurged on was that classic manicure and pedicure which comes with a foot reflexology. Just what I needed after my post-ache of wearing 6inches killer heels and my busy working schedule.

While they did a full body massage, I chose a different service all because of my phobia and horror of the first-time experience. Maybe I'm that conservative or plainly uncomfortable. I believed my closest friends should know why. That I shall keep my mouth zipped. Haha~ We then rushed like mad as we were taking the last ferry back home at 21:00 and by the time we left the spa it was already 20:15. Thank god, the taxi driver was 'too fast too furious' (plus good looking too) and we did not negotiate or hesitate to pay the bill of 50K rupiah.

P.S. Last year during Syawal, I dislocated my backbone in a minor accident and now I am recuperating from my limping right leg. I want to get well for Raya, please.

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XOXO, SERY DANCEHOLIC